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In my yoga class this morning, the theme was water. Didn't think anything of it when picking it, and certainly didn't pick it because I was aiming for the theme. But turns out I was.
So water is gentle and strong at the same time. Giving and unforgiving at the same time. Water is always flowing back to source. It is changeable, adaptable, free of struggle. Even Bruce Lee said "Be like water, my friend". Our kidneys and our bladder are our energy centers and organs that primarily have to do with the water chi in our bodies. Stimulate those organs, and those energy centers in the body and you balance the water element in your body.
In the class she said water cuts away rock slowly, but rock doesn't cut away anything. That was the first epiphany. Then as the class was a yin class, my favorite, you hold poses and breathe and hold space to listen to your body. Her words were, tune into your body, the sensations you feel instead of tuning into your mind. When we focus on the physical body, we focus less in the mind.
I have had such a hard time getting out of my head for a really long time. Every time I would try and focus on my body, my mind would instantly make up a story that something was wrong. So for me physical sensations became warning alarms. I get why I've been like this. Having cancer scared me...A LOT...and death scares me...EVEN MORE. I touch my body and instead of saying thank you to it for all it's done over the last five years, I touch it searching for any signs of cancer again. Even with something as simple as my teeth, I go to worst case scenario.
In the moment of the class, when she's cuing us to go within, I was actually able to do it. And it felt GOOD. She said like water, we're not forcing or looking for something, we're just observing, being. And then it hit me, that instead of being a loving observer of my body sensations, I've become a fearful observer. Trapped in always looking over my shoulder, not trusting my body to stay healthy. I've known this about myself already, and have been consciously working on it a lot lately. I love when it comes together so beautifully.
The lesson to be the loving observer of my body and ultimately my life. To allow myself to flow with life, which funny enough Reiki says the same thing. In fact many things say this. What I love is that it's there to know and to learn, and when we're ready it will sink in like never before. It's one of my favorite aspects of teaching the Reiki Retreats, and watching all the women come into their own.
So anyways, I just thought I'm sure I'm not the only one who has been trapped in fearful observation, and maybe it's good to know we're not alone, and have a way to turn it around. In the moment that's why breath is so important, why the "pause" is so important, and why self compassion is so vital. Whatever we can do to get out of the mind. Even if for a moment, it's enough.
All my love,
Linda
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