Being Vulnerable

Lately, actually probably the last 6 months, I have been shown over and over the value of being vulnerable. I've been thrown into situations that force me to step out of my comfort zone and be honest with my shortcomings. No matter what my fear brain tells me, I know I won't regret taking the leap.

It's scary and intimidating. Will I be judged? Let down? Will I be hurt? Is it true that I'm not worth being supported and loved? Is it safe to be vulnerable? In the moment if feels like the answer to all these questions is the negative one. Because it's a story I've been telling my entire life. I have to really talk myself through it. The back and forth can be exhausting at times.

But I have this grander sense of things at the same time. I'm contracting and expanding at the same time. Have you felt that? Life you're just on the other side of a breakthrough? It's weird for me if I'm being honest. My self-talk has been negative my entire life. Then you have situations growing up that confirm what you thought was true about yourself, so that belief gets cemented in.

What if instead of those situations confirming the negative, they were really happening to help overcome those beliefs. I'm grateful for them now, they form who I am, and without them I wouldn't feel about myself the way that I do. I wouldn't know that my worth is inherent, not dependent on others actions or words.

Even with that though, we grow and peel back more layers. This is where being vulnerable comes into play. Vulnerable with yourself and with others because healing doesn't exist in a vacuum. We need each other. We need to know that no matter what we are safe to peel back those layers, experience those emotions, and by doing so invite in peace. The knowing that while it feels unsafe to be vulnerable and exposed there is power and beauty and peace in there. We can be OK sharing the parts of ourselves that we judge the hardest. Now that I think about it that's probably why we don't want to be vulnerable. We think we are going to be judged because in the background we have been judging ourselves, and if we share and get judged all that personal judging gets confirmed. But in reality, what appears to be judging on the other persons part, is them holding up a mirror for your self judgement. WOW.

In being vulnerable you're saying to your subconscious that you matter. That you are deserving of love and support, and it's safe to stop judging yourself SO HARD. Let it go!

I heard the other day that fear is our greatest gift, and I had to really think about that. But in looking at objectively, it's true. Hear me out. Behind the fear is an emotion and belief begging to be seen. And fear is the hardest to heal because you FEEL it the most. But personally the biggest growth I've had over the years has been in moments of fear. Moments that I had to face my shadow side, and be vulnerable enough to process it, and share it with those I needed to. And on the other side is freedom and peace. Not to say I don't still have to work on it I do. And if you do too, that's ok. It could take our whole lives. I read in one of my books during treatment the question "What would you do if this belief was here with you for the rest of your life.?" "Could you still love and accept yourself?" Because the story is that we need to "get rid of" but it's not really that. It's uncover and LOVE. It's that simple and that complicated I know!

So next time you're frozen ask yourself "Can I be the littlest bit vulnerable in this moment?" Just that alone moves mountains, I swear. It's not as complicated as it seems. But be sure you give yourself that credit. Cause you deserve it! And you can do it!

All my love,

Linda